He will be a "Chakka" sister said.

At 6, I was in first grade and the only time when I stood first in the whole batch. The result of taunts and mocks on my effeminate nature refrained me from participating in any extra curricular activities. Sports day was a day-off for me; and that's the day when my parents asked me to behave boyish and participate in sports. It was never made for me i could hardly run as I had asthma and even if I would run it wouldn't be any less than a slow motion run of heroine towards her hero.
By age 7 I was asked to suppress my feminity, constant body language lessons would irritate me and that would result in me behaving more effeminate. It was then that the girl within me was touched by men who thought I was just a toy who can fullfil their desire. I was OK with this until it didn't move towards the unwanted places.

By 8 I saw few hijra's clapping outside my door facing towards my neighbor's house, they took that guy away he must have been 14 then and I barely understood what had happened, that made an impact on my mind and scared me. It wasnt limited to that, my mom use to frighten me and still taunts "you better behave manly, or they shall take you" unaware of its consequences in my mind.

9 years passed my dad never appreciated my dancing skills neither did people related to him, he admitted me in a karate classes in my school. A wonderful journey but during those breaks in class I would own the stage singing devotional songs and dancing around, the taunts from my batchmates. My talent was recognized by my instructor and he asked my dad to enroll me in a dancing class, but my feminity hurt his patriarchal mindset.

10 years on, I was still growing within and was trying to apply patriarchy to my feminity. My cousin sister had once asked my niece's “what they will become in future?”, they said doctor, engineer and looking at me she had said You will be a "chakka!", everyone standing their laughed but I was laughing with tears and may be that’s when my soul might have really cursed her because  she wanted a son but she never had one…..

Comments

  1. Unknown6 July 2017 at 12:32

    Beautifully written!! Word were used correctly and wisely at some places.
    Idk how you looked when you were 6,7,8 years old..but I could literally visualise each and everything.. it was like an inception in your past... Even though I haven't been through what you've written, my heart felt heavy!
    Great work! Keep it up!!♥
    Looking forward to read YOU through your blogs!! ♥😇

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Swapnil Alizeh6 July 2017 at 12:35

      Thank you so much Raiba ❤

      Delete
    2. earn money from home26 September 2017 at 12:53

      Heart touching story, hat's off u for the guts of tell the truth

      Delete
  2. Unknown6 July 2017 at 12:34

    ♥️
    A beautifully written piece! I could visualise the events with the smooth flow in your writeup.The little incidents mentioned that made a mark in your life were captivating and touchy. Challenging the stereotypical mindsets in a humble way......keep inspiring
    Kudos !!!🌻

    ReplyDelete
  3. Swapnil Alizeh6 July 2017 at 12:37

    Credit goes to your for editing it for me. But it's tough to write sm incidents.❤ thanks unnati ❤

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unknown6 July 2017 at 12:52

    A heart of a child can be so easily imprinted a small word a small joke could mean the world. If only parents and people knew how their actions effect their children they won't dare to do it. I'm proud you actually found a place to express your feelings. I'm proud that you can embrace your identify an remain unique because where's the fun everyone are a like. Be you only you can be you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Unknown6 July 2017 at 13:11

    Keep writing

    ReplyDelete
  6. Unknown6 July 2017 at 13:11

    Keep writing

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yogi6 July 2017 at 18:32

    Beautifully written..
    Well done... Swapnil
    Hope this reaches to all those patriarchal people out there..
    As they should understand what impact they do on others.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Unknown26 September 2017 at 05:48

    Their is lots of pain in your wiring and in your Life also !!! Swapnil beautifully written really nice

    ReplyDelete

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