She loved me, I loved him

I was aware of the term "gay" but for me it was similar to any derogatory term then. In 9th grade i had a friend in tutorial with whom i shared a not so cordial relationship who later went on to have crush on me. I could notice through her behaviour towards me, the way she used to stare at me in class making me uncomfortable. Back then straights were so much indulged into me that i could never accept myself as gay, i thought its just a term to tease me and i questioned myself, ‘how can i be gay?’. It took me alot of time to accept the same fact. Though i did make the girl understand that i could offer nothing more than friendship but it was clear that she wanted more, someone who could stand besides her and love her unconditionally. She shared minutest of things with me and we became thick friends.Things did not turn out as planned, once out of curiosity and due to my emotional nature i said ‘yes’ to her proposal, which was the biggest mistake of my life; things went haywire her parents got to know about it and started visiting our tutorials i never let these things reach to my parents notice but i managed to sail through the mental trauma all alone.

I met ‘Him’ through a dating site. I was in total awe for him that i shared my number and we planned a meet the very next day . i was going through my 10th grade final science practicals and that day started out worst but things changed as the day progressed. I had just migrated to another town so i caught a train from that place, but due to chaos i got into the handicap boggie; and this visually impaired person asked me to get down at next station, pushing me off as the train was about to stop. This made me to catch another train reach school when the practical exams were already done. I was the only late kid marked absent and asked to leave.

I did not take that incident seriously; i texted ‘Him’ and he came to pick me up at the decided spot. I was seeing him for the first time. Me looking all crap with glasses on and clean shaven uniformed look while he was in his casual best. I liked his personality and his gentle nature instantly. He was loving and polite to me. We reached his place and got into this conversation about life listening to soulful song 'khuda jaane ye' from 'bachna ae haseeno'. Lifting me in his arms we began to dance lost in each others mesmerizing presence. Those were undoubtly the best moments of my life for i was not objectified but loved for being ‘me’. I went on to present my dancing ability and he showcased his photography skills by snapping my pictures letting me wear his jacket

I left his place with a cherry blush and loads of beautiful memories. That day on wards i went on to feel special about myself, i started pampering my looks my feelings. I would gush about for nothing, click untimely selfies and would start singing out of nowhere because i was in Love. I was so blinded that i goofed up, being too immature to know tactics of maintaining a relationship. It did not work out, but i still have a soft corner for ‘Him’ in my heart. With too many things happenings i lost concentration from studies and life, I took time to heal myself and tend to those invisible wounds  however i still respect both of them as individuals and will always wish best for them in life.