Patriarchy has killed me

So, it all started with a challenge, I challenged my friend that we will have to walk all the way from kurla to govandi and reach before midnight and he agreed. We were walking, talking, running and joking around and having a gala time and we reach almost till chembur which is filed with all the ‘taporis’ or ‘awaara’ boys. So, we were just discussing about review of section 377 and other stuff, I find three boys on scooter who were staring at me and I just ignored they went ahead and stopped and started whistling and I turned back they were calling me but I didn’t go. My friend went to them and was talking so I thought maybe they are his friends and they must be asking him why are you walking with him? Who is he? And I started walking ahead so that they don’t ask him anymore questions, my friend joins me again and we walk ahead and I kept asking him same question but he asked me to ignore it and walk. There these boys come again and start touching me and force me to ride on a sc...

So, on 24 th January a friend of mine asked me to come for an interview by Bombay Times at Churchgate and we reach there on time though we couldn’t find the venue so soon we all were frustrated and irritated as well. Along me with me and my friend there were some heterosexual girls and lesbians who were asked to come for the interview by an admin of a LGBT page in Mumbai. So, after a while we reach the venue and see the journalist greeting us nicely and busy shooting other people who were present. Later journalist describes us their idea that they need us to dress in pop colours so that could make the picture look more impactful and we asked her to give some time to think about it! We disagreed to their plan and decided to tell them no and leave, but when she approached us for shoot we talked to her and told her that the impact she wants to create through the wouldn’t work because it’s very stereotypical and wouldn’t do much for the community’s welfare, her idea basically was...

“Traditionally, exchange of haldi kunku between married women marks a symbol of having a happy married life. :) Does that mean others shouldn't have a happy life? We need to be considerate of human beings who feel like having such beautiful moments to celebrate and enjoy. Personally, I always felt left out whenever there was haldi kunku at my home or my friend's home. And I strongly feel this celebration should not be limited to just married women. Why not celebrate happiness of every human being? Why not spread love and joy to all? Hence, this decision of having a small homely occasion customised to spread love and joy for all the people who wants to be a part of it.” This was the exact message I received from my trans sister Nishtha and that’s it I was excited to attend a haldi kunku which smashed all barriers of gender, cast, race, sex, marital status for the first time may be. Idea of Haldi kunku has always fascinated me, draping the new traditional saree ...

My dad once happened to see one of my friend and asked me whether he is a hijra, i replied with a NO and told him it is his choice to live and express the way he wants. Later on he went on ranting that Hijra's do sex work, its not good for one to roam with them and i on the other hand went on clearing all his misconception but my quinquagenarian dad was adamant on his facts and didn't bother listening to me. I was initially scared and terrified of the Hijra’s but after a while i got along with most of them, and to discover more about them i had to learn how to speak like them. I have been into their daily chores and i know that their life isn't any less than an actor's shift. 4 am - 7 am is their morning begging time. Some people wake up by 10 and start begging on respected stations allotted to them by their Guru's. Some people go for begging in slums and some to the traditional badhaai ceremony from where they earn. Most of them opt for Sex work in the ni...

Exploring feminine self is/was never wrong. My friend once told  me that she just loves to dress like a girl, “ I want to roam on streets and arouse everyone using my feminity but i am scared that people would label me as hijra and more than that i only want to change my dresses not the genitals". I was stunned, she identifies herself as a Cross-dresser now and she is proud of her newly discovered identity. She says there's lot of pre- conceived notions and misconceptions,"I am like a mystery to every person, for some its how i look without cosmetics and for some its question on SRS". She tries hard to explain about it and most of them aren't interested to listen to her but busy staring at her mermaid- body type. When i discussed about it with a lot of people they just said here cross-dressers are not less than a trans gender person, they do it because they want to be a trans gender and either of them don't deserve to be respected. To which my friend adds...

Education is a base from where a young kid learns basic etiquettes of life but some lessons are never taught in the school premises due to which education turns into suffocation. Every child comes with his or her set of problems which are taken into consideration but there are many problems of children’s who are LGBT and they are never considered. I still remember being called by many names and I would never speak up, I thought I was wrong, I was not like the others. At that time i used to ask myself why am I born like this, why people harass me so much. I remember an incident from my 10th grade when a group of my classmates hit me so hard that made me so hyper, I left my classroom for principal’s office. When I recited the incident to her she replied “So what? go to your class”. And that was really rude of her to say. There were girls who use to hate me, they would call me names, today when they message me on social sites saying that “we are proud of you”, I feel where was t...

Previously marriage used to be a platform where two individuals would explore each other still loving and sharing lives. Agreed, it has its pros and cons but we have been spoon fed since ages that marriage is just an agreement to live under a roof, give birth to humans and love happens later. It is wrong! Marriage is a beautiful thing where two souls meet and know each other, start accepting each other with all their flaws. Now marriage for people only means to warm the sheets and reproduce. I have always dreamt about getting married to someone i like but its not the same with everyone from my community. Some people marry to destroy their lives to keep whole society happy. Some people even say that what's wrong with marrying a girl, you get an erection that's enough to reproduce kids and hand it over, the list hence goes on. Scenarios might be different for different people. People get married and then they don't even realise that every human being has his o...