Patriarchy has killed me

Its true that no one will love you more than yourself, i didn't love myself and for a fact i was this oil skinned wearing big framed glasse and disastrous clothes kind of boy; But i really thank people who taunted me so much that because of them i explored myself in streets of fashion and that's also the time when i realised that my gender identity to be 'ANDROGYNYOUS'. It wasn't easy to love myself i had to struggle a lot, hear a lot and face a lot to love myself. I am still pampered by my dad and he used to shop for me earlier but after i met my friend about whom i wrote in previous blog i never went on shopping spree with my dad. We used to go to shop together and being a anti social, ambivert and publicly embarrassed person i never interacted with shopkeepers because of their lingo, it was tough for me i was constantly scared that if i behave feminine they would stare at me and would make fun of me. Once we went for shopping at bandra, after shoppin...

I had a brief encounter with the operation theatre and it took me a bit time to recover from the trauma. In 7th grade i made a new friend who was like me. That phase was one of the best phases in my life, i suddenly started talking to everyone; though people taunted me, teachers made faces but i never stopped. For me interacting with someone who is like me made me not to feel low about myself. I never stopped dancing, constant dose of mockery along with some really mean taunts where always lashed out on me by my parents and society. Once a man told my dad " Tumcha mulga choreographer bannar pudhe", made such an impact on him that he still hates it. I wanted to participate in inter-school dance competition and in crowd of 60 kids i gave my name as a participant; but that poor teacher questioned my dancing abilities making the fellow classmates roar with laughter. 8th grade was pretty much better compared to the previous year and that's when i left singing and i s...