Patriarchy has killed me

My dad once happened to see one of my friend and asked me whether he is a hijra, i replied with a NO and told him it is his choice to live and express the way he wants. Later on he went on ranting that Hijra's do sex work, its not good for one to roam with them and i on the other hand went on clearing all his misconception but my quinquagenarian dad was adamant on his facts and didn't bother listening to me. I was initially scared and terrified of the Hijra’s but after a while i got along with most of them, and to discover more about them i had to learn how to speak like them. I have been into their daily chores and i know that their life isn't any less than an actor's shift. 4 am - 7 am is their morning begging time. Some people wake up by 10 and start begging on respected stations allotted to them by their Guru's. Some people go for begging in slums and some to the traditional badhaai ceremony from where they earn. Most of them opt for Sex work in the ni...

Exploring feminine self is/was never wrong. My friend once told  me that she just loves to dress like a girl, “ I want to roam on streets and arouse everyone using my feminity but i am scared that people would label me as hijra and more than that i only want to change my dresses not the genitals". I was stunned, she identifies herself as a Cross-dresser now and she is proud of her newly discovered identity. She says there's lot of pre- conceived notions and misconceptions,"I am like a mystery to every person, for some its how i look without cosmetics and for some its question on SRS". She tries hard to explain about it and most of them aren't interested to listen to her but busy staring at her mermaid- body type. When i discussed about it with a lot of people they just said here cross-dressers are not less than a trans gender person, they do it because they want to be a trans gender and either of them don't deserve to be respected. To which my friend adds...

Education is a base from where a young kid learns basic etiquettes of life but some lessons are never taught in the school premises due to which education turns into suffocation. Every child comes with his or her set of problems which are taken into consideration but there are many problems of children’s who are LGBT and they are never considered. I still remember being called by many names and I would never speak up, I thought I was wrong, I was not like the others. At that time i used to ask myself why am I born like this, why people harass me so much. I remember an incident from my 10th grade when a group of my classmates hit me so hard that made me so hyper, I left my classroom for principal’s office. When I recited the incident to her she replied “So what? go to your class”. And that was really rude of her to say. There were girls who use to hate me, they would call me names, today when they message me on social sites saying that “we are proud of you”, I feel where was t...

Previously marriage used to be a platform where two individuals would explore each other still loving and sharing lives. Agreed, it has its pros and cons but we have been spoon fed since ages that marriage is just an agreement to live under a roof, give birth to humans and love happens later. It is wrong! Marriage is a beautiful thing where two souls meet and know each other, start accepting each other with all their flaws. Now marriage for people only means to warm the sheets and reproduce. I have always dreamt about getting married to someone i like but its not the same with everyone from my community. Some people marry to destroy their lives to keep whole society happy. Some people even say that what's wrong with marrying a girl, you get an erection that's enough to reproduce kids and hand it over, the list hence goes on. Scenarios might be different for different people. People get married and then they don't even realise that every human being has his o...

People often ask me why you gays (effeminate gays) address yourselves as female? , why you address each others as 'sisters' or 'mother-daughter'? . Initially i use to think about the same and wonder what would be the reason behind it. As i discovered myself, my feminity and i started embracing it, I thought there's a 'She' within every 'He' and vice verse just realising that and to discover that and later embracing that is left upon us. I am feminine since my childhood as i have even mentioned in my previous write-ups, but is that the reason for me being gay is a big NO. There are many males out their who are feminine and are proud of it and embrace it with dignity. But yes our patriarchal society thinks being feminine is degrading or is something which can be dominated by them and used as per their needs. I was sexually abused and harassed at young age just because i was feminine and they molested my feminity. People make fun o...

Past one year has not only taught me to be proud about myself or to explore my gender identity, it has helped me to understand that unlike my friends i don't believe in having random hookups unless and until I'm not that horny that i want to sleep with someone. I was never introduced to concept of Demisexuality until last year. Demisexuality is the Gray area between Asexuality and Sexuality, where until and unless i don't form an emotional bond with someone, his chances of finding me next to him in bed is just impossible. Nowadays, in life sex is prioritise more than emotions and love, because condoms are easily available than a heart to heart conversation, gazing at stars and discussing about life and random stuff. i prefer not to go with people who believe in taking of pants easily than presenting their heart. And most of the  people wouldn't even believe that I'm a demisexual guy because I'm so open about idea of sex and sexuality and i do crazy stuff i...

Patriarchy is like flood which comes with such a tremendous flow and destroys lives. One such component in the patriarchy is 'GENDER NORM'. Gender norm has been there since ages and it has forced people to follow its terms and conditions.  Well, while growing up i also got to know that gender is assigned to clothes too. And i kept following it for a very long time,until i dint realised 'bout my gender identity. Yes! gender identity and sexual orientation are two different concepts. Being a 'gay' , 'lesbian', 'bi-sexual' tells about your sexual orientation; but gender identity is something which you decide. I identify myself as an 'Androgynous' guy. which means that i posses both qualities of a male and female. Lets come back to the clothes so ya people do assign gender to clothes. I liked heavy lehenga's, saree's, anaarkali's but i hardly liked men's clothes as all i could find is pant and shirt. I wasn't ever allowe...