I am an Actor and I am Queer

Have you ever dreamed of being part of movies? Yes, I did. Indian Movies? Yes, I did. Indian Queer Movies? Yes, I did. But how many us can be a part of it? Are there enough people making queer movies? Giving opportunities to queer people? Note that I'm only talking about India in this blog. We need more representation! Real representation! And doesn't mean we could only be used in a documentary telling our stories because we queer people have more than 'acceptance' to talk about at this point. 

Half of the sensible films make their ways to film festivals shown to people from the community and to a few who are not. And our lives doesn't reach to the audience which needs to see our stories too. We are just informing the already informed! Might be wrong too! And when one goes and searches on a reliable source to watch a film they end up watching censored porn on Youtube in the name of Indian gay movies. Let's not even get into Bollywood, no matter who does the film they'd not given enough balls to promote a queer film on a shit show like of Kapil Sharma because they are too shy or scared to be judged while laughing at transphobic, misogynistic, homophobic comments made by the hosts and the artist. Shubh mangal zyada saavdhan started the conversation and yeah its the first time a lead Hindi cinema actor plays gay but the movie was degraded, two love songs and a kissing scene are that what our lives are all about. We are already treated as comedians and now we can't let our struggles be told comically! The movie would be far more interesting if it'd not be about them but about their sister ' goggle'. 

'Ek ladki ko Dekha tho Aisa Laga' was a far better film than it. But neither of them had real queer people acting in it. 

I remember during my college days which didn't last long I always wanted to make a film about more than 'acceptance' queer issues, stories but they never let me in to do it but somehow I ended up making it and it wasn't appreciated in fact people were shocked to see what they think is abnormal, I ended up performing on stage for many community-based platforms but here we're still in a way stuck to the same 'acceptance' issue as if that's the only struggle we have in our lives. As a queer actor I've never given opportunities where I could use my talent to its full potential whether it is acting or writing. I always wanted to become a performer and very later in my life, I got a chance to do it and it took a few years for me to learn the trick and I'm still working on it. I wish I would be privileged enough to go into fil school where I could learn it professionally and create and be part of my own world, telling stories of our life. We see so many amazing queer movies but always the effeminate men are looked down upon they're only portrayed either turning into a trans or a comic relief for the viewers. Sometimes, they don't exist. 

Now we are stuck in a pandemic, we as queer artists had fewer opportunities and many people waiting queue to grab them. Henceforth, we would have zero opportunities, we will have to shove our faces in the corporate jobs to run our family not that our artistry was fetching us a lot of amounts but then we never use to work we use to do what we loved. 

I  have always dreamt of being on a film poster, where I'd be playing our people in their true way and not some stereotypes they have set.  I'd request all my readers to make films about queer people and come up with good scripts there are many young talented artists who need that chance! Today, my film 'Compartment' is going to be screened at Kashish film festival I wish this pandemic wouldn't exist and I could see it with my parents and walk with them on the red carpet wearing the best outfit and prove everybody that even I can be here and many more like me will come to rule the screen. We all queer people will rule the screen one day!

Sharing link of my first directed short film-: 

https://youtu.be/mJZSjCk4bKE

My first baby will always be very special to me. All the struggles which went into making this film is literally unimaginable. All thanks to Pooja my camera man who was there all the time. ❤ This is my 1st ever directed silent short film. ❤

And all the amazing people who agreed to work and best part of working with them was they were as raw as I was.😍