Breaking the Norms "Halad-Kunku"

“Traditionally, exchange of haldi kunku between married women marks a symbol of having a happy married life. :) Does that mean others shouldn't have a happy life?
We need to be considerate of human beings who feel like having such beautiful moments to celebrate and enjoy.
Personally, I always felt left out whenever there was haldi kunku at my home or my friend's home.
And I strongly feel this celebration should not be limited to just married women.
Why not celebrate happiness of every human being? Why not spread love and joy to all?
Hence, this decision of having a small homely occasion customised to spread love and joy for all the people who wants to be a part of it.”

This was the exact message I received from my trans sister Nishtha and that’s it I was excited to attend a haldi kunku which smashed all barriers of gender, cast, race, sex, marital status for the first time may be. Idea of Haldi kunku has always fascinated me, draping the new traditional saree and applying the haldi i.e. turmeric powder and kunku i.e. vermilion on foreheads and receiving ‘Tilgul’ laadu, but no other than a biological married woman was allowed to celebrate this festival. I wanted to be part of that but couldn’t, Me and my effeminate gay friends use to act as if we are applying haldi kunku on each other’s forehead but it was a façade.

As it was an open invitation to everyone still I invited most of my friends so that we can meet and embrace our feminity and ones who were close to me came. Some people mocked, laughed but it didn’t stop us to celebrate the festival. As Gandhi said “First they’ll laugh at you, ignore you, fight with you but at the end you will win.” And that’s what had happened.

I was astonished to see heterosexual married women, girls and their boyfriend attending the festival and best part of the event was when we started singing and dancing with enthusiasm. I hope this festival should be attached to pride month calendar as one of the pride month event of Mumbai’s LGBT groups because it’s the only place where no one is differentiated.


Lastly thanks to everyone who came, who enjoyed and most importantly who arranged the event, I hope we continue to do it every year.

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