And I blinked because of brightness.

And I blinked, again and again and finally let out a wailing cry which subsided to a smile. While they announced "it's a boy", making a crescent on others face; Patriarchy winked at it's newest prey.

I spread happiness around. I remember my mom told me once " You are the gift which Shiva and parvati gave me, they bestowed you in my arms". I couldn’t describe that motherhood bliss in her twinkling eyes along with the way I blushed.

 let's commence with a flashback, At the age of 3, I use to watch Ramayana, as I was attracted to Seeta's character that time I didnt know how superior sita was, but I wanted to impersonate her as if I am sita, as if i am a female.To this, my cousin dragged me and said "you are a boy, and boys can either be laxmana or rama" I wasn't anymore interested in playing any games.

At the age of 4, I was enrolled in junior school, I  never really thought If i was a boy or a girl, until someone told me that I'm a boy, or when was made to recite few lines about ‘Myself'. I used to fight with boys but shared a delight to playing with girls. I was asked to play with boys on numerous occasions, But even back then I was straight forward,stubborn & bad tempered.

I was a very bright, bratty and an effeminate child,  my mom noticed this and would ask me not to walk like a girl. But even then I didn't give a damn. I was the apple of my teacher's eyes, she was in awe for me when i impersonated Krishna, an old man, and finally I danced on dola re dola, dressed as a Gujju boy with those drawn moustache. I actually felt satisfied and content when I shed tears while got draped in my mumma's Saree with all bling bling as I danced at my Chawl's annual ceremony.  Trust me….patriarchy was testing me, after a friend of mine and I were named 'champakali'. Name which I liked initially but hated later.

At age of 5, things changed rapidly, I was never into movies, my mind was channelised towards spirituality, Durga, Laxmi,  saraswati were my newesr crushes. I still remember how devoted I was, I use to love Tandav and practice it, I would recite all the stories of godess, once I performed tandav at my village and everyone laughed, no one appreciated my talent but now when I recollect, I think my feminity was mocked but I thought they liked it, and if someone applauded my skills, my parents never thought that's a compliment for them it was an insult.